How To Explain: Saginaw, Michigan

They will never understand that people
built machines here with shiny windows and steel sides

that the summers cracked open with possibility
and thunderstorms

let me tell you about untethered joy here
floating up like a jump rope
before hitting the asphalt with a thwack

let me tell you about having dental insurance
finally
about not having to pick up bricks of plastic cheese no more
-- a nightmare and dream --
‘cause someone got a job at the plant

finally

how will you ever understand this place
where my dad would identify bullet blasts in the dark of night
-- a horror turned lesson --
everyone tried to sleep everyone tried to dream everyone tried to wake up the next day

we grew peppers in the backyard
behind the garage
squash too, tomatoes, strawberries
the neighbor’s house: we all knew what that house was
my mom said simply, Don’t go in there. Don’t go into any houses.
Our House is the Only Home.

There were times
when I’d take a pig’s foot to school for lunch and no one said a thing
nerds and bullies were TV creatures
-- we didn’t know such things --
hey do you hey
do you

I played double-dutch, an in-demand twirler, first in my class
-- my class, the playground --
loud clothes and louder friends
hair swinging
shiny shoes and clicking tongues that suck on teeth
I was in demand
I had a place

In the crumble, in the imploded factories, nature insisted itself
growing through broken bones
filling empty lots and gap-toothed houses
does a tree belong there? do flowers?

My dad says, Nature Always Wins.
And he only says this when there’s silence

Everything is yesterdays, now, for real
even with property and church ties and roots
that crack concrete
We remain: Not From Here
-- but where else could I be from? like this? talking like this? --
Canada on our shoulder
Mexico is so far
so printed on our foreheads as they say
and what they say matters so much doesn’t it?
aw, naw
Aw, Hell Naw

Olivia Muñoz [she/ella] is a writer and educator living in Fresno, California, where the sun beats down heavy and writers grow like weeds. She has a MFA from Fresno State. Her work reflects on culture, the Midwest, and tiny joys, and the complexities of America.