This Time, Next Saturday

these plants will die. 
the floors will need to be swept again. 
i will sleep too late 
and eat too much 
and cry at the most inopportune time 
i’ll see the disgust on your face once more 
when all of my insecurities come to surface 
when i try too hard to prove my worth to you 
when my sentences are trite and childish 
and fail to find a point. 
i’ll ruin a perfectly fine saturday morning again. 
i’ll pay for dinner and resent it later. 
i can assure you. 
i’ll do this all again. 
but i’m here. 
and for once, i welcome it 
i welcome the opportunity to fail miserably 
next to you 
i welcome the shit weather 
the old shoes 
my bad purchases 
there’s no solution 
there’s no fix 
it will happen again 
only now 
i welcome the opportunity to fuck up incessantly in your good company 
and i hope you will do the same. 

Erica Wessbecker is a chef and writer based in Minneapolis, MN.