Time Piece

I’m not as free as you—
I’m a prisoner in my own flesh.
My consciousness is the warden,
the people around me become
the inmates of my creation—
I cannot let go.
I’m not the nectar cupped
in the hands of this starving heart.
I need codes just to unlock the chains
off of this vessel—
I cannot open up.

I’m not as free as you—
everything I do is calculated,
everything I do is isolated in purpose
like there are a million equations
multiplied by another a million equations
just to find out why I need to do this.
I need a reason;
I need a reason like it’s my next fix.
I know I’m not a robot, but yet I feel mechanized;
does that mean the super computer inside my skull
is working properly or has it somehow malfunctioned?

I am not as free as you—
the way you ignite the room with laughter;
you are the beaming rose in the middle of the dance floor,
I’m just the wallflower rubbing shoulders
with human counterparts whom have no names.
It’s like I have to be the perfect cube;
it’s like if I mess and fuck shit up I become a fraud—
a temporary side note.
You are an antidote;
an antidote to the things that make us afraid.
Imagine we’re not afraid to skydive into the river
of unknown blissfulness.
Imagine we’re not afraid to trampoline through
these burning rings
of risk and embarrassment.
Imagine we’re not afraid
to wrap our arms around ourselves
saying, “You can finally feel those four famous letters!”

You see you did all that—
you did all that even without
a submission letter to life
because you didn’t need one;
you were already sincere.

I’m not as free as you—
is that why you’re up there where stopwatches
don't have to stress about keeping time anymore,
and I’m down here where biological clocks
are wired for self-destruction?

Adam Que is a writer from Union City, New Jersey. He was competing and working to become a professional fighter/athlete until he rediscovered a need to share his raw creativity. This has led him down a wondrous, as well as, beautifully arduous artistic path. He has most recently appeared in Half and One, Kelsey Review, The Decadent Review, New Note Poetry, The Abstract Elephant Magazine LLC., and Carcosa Magazine. When he is not writing, he’s walking the concrete forest enjoying himself a bit of street photography.