8 things it is hard to admit as a woman

1. I act sweet for tips like a bartender.
   It started when I was young. My mama praised me for the charming words already in my lungs. She said there are further praises to be sung, just keep that smiley disposition and always bite your tongue.
   

2. I say I know what I’m doing, but I’m just a pretender.
   Silly little me, I thought I was independent and wore my strength and pride like a pendant. Until one day my superintendent saw the dreams on my sleeve and said you'll probably end up pregnant. You're not the master of your life, you're just an attendant.
   

3. If you get on my good side I’ll likely surrender.
   I give out trust like it's not risky. My friendliness gets misconstrued as frisky, but that doesn't mean shit, it's probably the whiskey. You’ll think I’m lying because you’ll never ask me. You’ll only hear what you want before you frisk me. 
   

4. I want to be the perfect girl for someone, someday, hopefully Michael Fasbender.
   I think I am me, just for me; only not really. I slip in my daily movements and hope someone will catch me. Even when I feel I’m on top I can’t escape the voice inside me. It's quiet and constant, it begs nervously: "No man will want to marry that, especially no prince from Disney."
   

5. I don't take attacks lightly; when faced with a threat I’m a private defender.
   There is nothing like the red hot fury of panic. You may say it's because I'm Hispanic, but don't mistake my spiciness for manic. When I feel trapped, pressured, powerless, it awakes something satanic.
   

6. I’m sensitive as they say, we’re worried we’ll offend her.
   Like the raging ocean that comes in big black waves, I wash up with the rain; I linger and foam in cavernous caves. I fear the only ones who will get to surf are the outrageous and the brave.
   

7. All of these are actually human qualities and are undefined by my gender.
   When I first grasped the concept of "girl" I laughed like a child. Sometimes I want to curl, into a ball so tight and so wild and forget I'm supposed to be fluffy, fickle, and mild. I saw a sad fate that had little me beguiled.
   

   (7.5) And now we’re here, looking back at a long list of things with women in the title. But here’s the kicker and I think I’ve known for a while. I know boys who feel the same way; that’s what I can’t reconcile. I never wanted to admit it because the hardest thing for me to sit with is…

   It doesn’t matter if I was born to be tough or tender.

   I act sweet for tips like a bartender. Say I know what I’m doing but I’m just a pretender. If you get on my good side I’ll likely surrender. I want to be the perfect girl for someone; someday, hopefully Michael Fasbender. I don't take attacks lightly; when faced with a threat I’m a private defender. I’m sensitive as they say, we’re worried we’ll offend her. *Scoff. All of these qualities are human and undefined by my gender. I’m going to do what I want and always remember: 
   

8. I have the power to change all these things.  

Kay is a San Francisco resident DIY girl. Her creative streak runs through many mediums. When she is not writing or crafting custom furniture, she is making music or Etch-a-Sketch art. She hopes to one day write comedy in Hollywood or New York, but for now she just makes memes.