TransactioNal love

You invoke an emotion outta me
and I don’t know if that’s a good thing
you see,
I can’t get in a relationship if I got low self esteem 
cus that could turn into love bombing just to feel seen.
Then my little narcissist wins you know what I mean? 
The problem is it seems like addiction and love go hand in hand now a days,
we look to other people to make us feel whole
and that expectation is emotional abuse that eventually takes a toll
on our souls purpose to learn and evolve 
that gets replaced with an emotional high that revolves 
around what everyone else thinks of us.
That type of manipulative lust 
is a short term rush
that gets us nothing but temporary and transactional love.
How do I love if I’m still an addict?
How do I love if I’ve never been loved?

Jessica is a follower of Christ and a multifaceted creative that uses her passion for writing to communicate her unique world view. Although she is currently a barista and server by trade, she hopes to one day publish a book and work in the music industry as a song writer.